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About Literature / Hobbyist Brenden MarshallMale/United States Groups :iconaloneandforgoten: AloneAndForgoten
 
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Literature
Rah and the Muggles part II review
Rah and the Muggles part 2 Review
So, what does a book oriented to first graders that starts off with nuclear genocide do for the next chapter? Implied adultery. Oh boy, this is defiantly gonna be a treat for the whole family.
The chapter begins years after the last one where a distant country is under siege. Lady Catherine, the protagonist for this chapter, is busy preparing with the rest of her palace staff about hiding out in underground catacombs until the enemy leaves or until they all starve to death.
We get some pointless descriptions about the staff members that I guess is trying to make you, the readers, bond with these characters easier. Like how the staff members call Catherine Cat as a nickname since childhood because of the first three letters in her name. Real cleaver right?
Really, the only staff member you need to care about is the butler named Walter. You'll see why soon.
We find out that Catherine is pregnant with twins and that her husband, the king, is fighting off
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Literature
Letter part 7
"So captain, where do you think the Bark Fish are usually at around these parts?" Asked Kennr's cabin boy Tommy Cdeyn as he observed the rising morning son with his captain.
"Really Thomas, the movements of bark fish schools are, unpredictable. They're not that hard to spot though. They look like logs swimming as fast as a torpedo." Kennr said.
"Didn't I tell you this already? Before we set sail?" Kennr said, taking his attention off the sunrise to face his cabin boy. Tommy didn't have an immediate answer as it had been thirteen months since the ship THE YELLOW-LIME UNICORN had taken off from the docks of Laser Tooth city.
"You know what, forget it. I was probably too occupied listening to Khincs talk about how her job at the farm crop hospital is causing her depression. Can't believe I had to leave her when she needs me the most.
Could only imagine how the kids are doing." Kennr said before walking off.
"I'm gonna go drink some AL Tom. You hold the deck while I'm occupied." Kennr said
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Mature content
Cupcakes Review :iconnolannilestheletter:Nolannilestheletter 4 3
Literature
Friends and Little Wishes Review
Friends and Little Wishes Chapter 1 Review
[Hello people, this is a fanfic that comes to us from the same author behind Chaotic Order. Now, this time around I've actually gotten around to ask her if I could review it. Thats something I've never done as a fanfiction critic. Also, this fanfic is discontinued and probably will remain so since the author has been more occupied with a Monster's University OC fanfic of her's. Not that I'm complaining. Once you've read this whole thing, you'll be glad too.]
An afro-sporting catfish whistled merrily to himself as he swam over to his locker, shaking his rump ever so slightly as not to draw too much attention.
[Oh yeah, shaking your ass in any fashion in a crowded high school hallway certainly isn't going to draw any attention to you what so ever. Already we're off to a good start.]
After he worked his combination and grabbed his required book, he let out a dreamy sigh, smiling so wide it could accommodate the whole fish tank.
[Or he was high. Y
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Literature
Weird Tastes Review
Remember my Fish Hooks series finale review? Did you honestly expect that to be my last critique of anything Fish Hooks related ever? I would have been had I not discovered the existence of fanfiction. Yes, there is actually fanfiction of this show the same way there is fnafiction of Johnny Test.
[Note to self, review Johnny Test fanfic in the future]
I was looking over the fanfictions and wondering to myself what fanfics would be worth reviewing until this one particular fanfic caught my eye. It caught my eye because the description tells us about an OC hitting it up with rich kid obnoxious himself Randy. You know, that annoying crab guy who was just barely as bad as Milo who I guess is the show's antagonist. Yeah, and I thought someone wanting to hit it up with Dr. Heiter was bad. Lets dive in shall we? No pun intended.
"Oh, DANG!"
THUMP! I landed on my new bedroom floor hard once I got out of bed.
[Well, I can see we're off to a promising start.]
I groaned, looking out the window to
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Literature
First Glance Mordetwi review
Mordetwi First Glance
[Hello everybody, welcome back to another fanfic review. A Mordetwi fanfic? Sold.]
"Ugh" Mordecai moaned as he,wiped sweat from his sky blue feathers.
[Is the , between he and wiped neccessary? He's not doing a he as he wipes his face.]
He hated raking day. It was actually Rigby's job, but Mordecai foolishly decides to gamble on the chore via video games. How was he supposed to know Rigby would cheat. "Ugh Rigby, you damn cheater" he mumbled
[I've only been best friends with him since childhood. One would think I'd be able to tell that he has a tendacy to cheat.]
After he had finished he looked around to make sure all was well. That's when someone caught his eye. She had light purple skin with a horn to match. Her long purple mane had a darker plum purple streak with a pink streak next to it and it matched her tail.. Her body was small and lean and was  filled out in all the right places.
[What does that even mean?]
Her eyes were a deep deep blue that reflect
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Literature
Letter part 6
Inside his office at the very top of his building, Lou was seated at his desk, having a lengthy and profound discussion of a half butched job on Pile's part.
"Damn it Damien, it was suppose to be a simple deal. How did they find out about it? Please explain this to me Damien, I'm whether curious."
Damien Piles didn't immediately respond. He blew out his latest whiff of his El Mofo cigar before speaking. He was a tall, incredibly muscular cockney man with long, black hair, purple eyeliner that pointed like daggers to the top of his forehead and down to his cheeks, as well as lip stick of the same color.
"First of all Lou, this wasn't my fuck up, alright. It was that tart I put in charge of handling foreign arms trade. It's not my doing to strip down and give a bloody cavity search to every roach I got working for me."
Lou gripped the right edge of his green and blue marble desk. Damien's response was infuriating enough to make him scratch at the marble on his desk.
"Is that what you thi
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Literature
Rah and the Muggles review
Harry Potter, whether you like it or not, you cant deny it's success. Having sold 450 million copies worldwide, its only fitting that at the height of it's popularity that there would be controversy. I'm not talking about the promotion of witchcraft conflict but whether of a copyright lawsuit between JK Rowling and a woman named RK Stouffer. Stouffer claimed that Rowling stole the term muggle from her self published 1984 children fantasy novel Rah and the Muggles. The lawsuit was unsuccessful to say the least. With the lawsuit being dropped due to the discovery of muggle not even being in the original copies as well as the company printing going out of business, the novel went back into obscurity. Despite this, Stouffer spends this very day claiming that her book is successful despite the printing company going out as well as Rowling ripping her off. I'm here to critique the novel chapter by chapter that sparked minor news in the 2000s.
I should note that before I critique the prologue
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Literature
Pokemon Valentines Day fanfic
Pokemon Valentines Day Review
Hello everybody. As you all should know, its almost Valentines Day. A day originally celebrating a saint who died protecting the sanctity of marriage which ironically would be commercialized by not only Disney, but the holiday he was named after. As I prepare to review the worst love themed fanfiction ever written, here is an honorable runner up.
AGES-
Ash- 18
Drew-18
Gary-18
Dawn-17
Misty-17
May- 17
[You see, they're adults except for Dawn, Misty, and May, so sex is alright if you live in a third world country.]
Ash's POV
"How about Fuchsia City, it's not crowded at this time of year and it's clean and I think that since it's new, it might help it attract tourists."
[Because its new, it might help it attract tourist? Didn't you just say you wanted to escape crowded areas?]
This suggestion was made by my close friend, Dawn Berlitz. We, that is me, Dawn, Misty, Drew, May and Gary, were discussing where the Valentine's Day party should be held.
[We, that is
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Literature
Simpsons Incest Fanfic Review
Hello my fellow fanfic critic enthusiasts. Happy February/Valentine Month. This month I will take time out of my life to review some of the worst love themed fanfictions ever put onto the internet. Lets kick things off with this yellow skinned atrocity simply known as Lisa Is Pregnant.
[#1 Yes, that is the title.
#2 Yes, the rumors were true. This actually exists.]
Bart and Lisa un in the mountain. Snow everywhere. They were no suit for the weather. They where normal cloths and they get sick. They wood die!
[As you can see, the grammar is as good as Mordetwi fanfic. Maybe even a little worse as the sentence structures shows. Also, why aren't they dressed for winter? I get Bart isn't usually that smart but he's not blazingly retarded. Also Lisa is a genius for crying out loud.]
"Lis' its a life or death situaytine." Bart said as he unzipped his pants.
"Bart?"
"It's life or death and we must live on and get warmed up somehow!"
Bart was the right! But Lisa was reluctant but gave in to inc
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Literature
Letter The Series
Letter Part 5
As he walked inside the Martini Corp building, Emer was greeted with a swift of conditioned air blown into his face. To a newcomer of the building, it was Lou's way to showcase the kind wealth the organization had. To Emer however, it was a constant and predictable annoyance that he wished would cease.
As he walked towards the front desk of the round lobby, his co-workers Bob and Matt were discussing current celebrity gossip.
"He just puked right onto the people sitting in the front row." Bob said laughingly.
"You actually got it on tape?" Matt asked.
"Yep." Bob said as he got out his cellphone.
"All recorded right here. How much you think people will pay for it?" Bob asked.
"I wouldn't bet on you making a single cent off that video. They're were like what? Five hundred people in attendence?
What were you even doing at a Mill Kutchmin concert anyways? Doesn't his fanbase mostly consist of brace bound preteens?" Matt asked.
"My niece was sick and couldn't go, so I decided
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Literature
Malfunction In The Middle Review
MALFUNCTION IN THE MIDDLE review
Lois fished out the foreign cell phone from the toilet. "Goddammit Frankie Muniz!" she yelled, "Frankie Muniz, get in here!" Frankie came into the room, "I didn't do it! I swear!" he exclaimed before he even knew the reason for which he was being called in for. Lois threw the cell phone at Frankie Muniz's face. He gave small whimper as he backed away. "Explain yourself you shitty little snot nosed bastard."
[It's been a while since I've seen Malcolm in The Middle. Was Lois ever this abusive? I remember she was always controlling of her family but did it ever excalate to abuse? Also yeah author, just call the character by the name of the person who portrayed him instead of his actual name in the show. Why call Lois by her name and not Malcolm?]
Frankie Muniz stood in shock. He had never seen the phone in his life. His mind cleaned through every corner then stood confused; this projected onto his face. Lois took notice. "Don't give me that look faggot." L
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Literature
My Love With A Vampire part 5 Review
When we woke up the next morning the practice was on non-stop i was out to show Jake what he was missing out on!! one,two,three,Hair flip,Stand up,right grab,left grab,cross,pull,cross,pull,cross,pull,jump,jump,jump,jump,fist,fist,fist,fist,JB signature chin thing! when we finally perfected our act the outfits were in timee to be put together.
[Well, the grammar at least got a little better. It's still crap, but at least it's better.]
"Okay girls we are gunna have the purple JB hat, purple Justin Beiber Never Say Never shirt ,purple DC hightops and black skinny jeans.Okay purple eyelinher purple mascara purple eyeshadow and purple nail pollish and our hair will all be in dubble braids." i said to them.
["Orgasms" Boy that's good scenery porn.]
By the time we were finished putting together our outfits it was a little past 10:00and we were guna need our sleep for our audition tomorrow and we all crawled into our purple satin JB sleeping bags and fell asleep.
[Does this chick own anything
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Literature
Forgivness Review
Forgiveness Review
{So I decided to write a Frozen fanfic. I'll try to write two of them, one for Kristanna and one for Hanna, and maybe an Elsa one if I have time after the first two. So hope you like it!}
[You know, I'm morbidly curious if there are any fanfics shipping Olaf with anyone. Human x Snowman, so many oppurtunity to write vomit inducing sex scenes.]
Anna's POV:
It had been over a year since that day. The day that I had learned who he truly was. That he, is Prince Hans of the Southern Isles. All we had had been through, I learned, was a bunch of lies. Lies that I know I will never get over. Even to this day, with Kristoff and I's marriage approaching, I still can't forget this. But if I don't care about him at all, why do I still think about him? Why do I visit his prison cell at night almost every day, why can't I get these experiences out of my head?!
[Oh no, Anna is being exposed to the Cartuneslover Twilight Sparkle chickification!]
Anna shook her head and laid her head
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Literature
Disco Love Review
Disco Love Review
was a normal day in Ponyville
viny: octi hey guess what?
octavia: what?
viny: I was chosen to be the DJ at the new club that opened
[As you can see, the grammar is bad. I'd criticize it if it wasn't for the fact that this whole story is one big gathering of grammar errors. Fortunately for me though, this fic gives me so much more to criticize.]
Octavia: I'm happy for you viny
viny: and so they told me I will play with another DJ called vector
octavia: (vector?) .....
[Yes, Vector from the Sonic Games. As a non Sonic fan, the only thing I can say is how did an anthropomorphic crocodile and or alligator wearing headphones enter Equestria? Why would they offer up a job as a DJ to an anthropomorphic crocodile and or alligator?]
viny: octi something happens?
octavia: huh? ... no .. it's nothing
viny: octi You think you can go?
octavia: of course
viny: please be fun and - ... wait you said yes?
octavia: of course I have nothing to do
viny: that's my octavia?
[As I said, ter
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Literature
For Morgan
INVADER MAZ: Tallest, please let me go to some puny planet that an Irken
invader has failed to, well, invade.
(PURPLE TALLEST is gazing unblinkily at MAZ, staring at her beauty)
RED TALLEST: Ummmmm.......ummmmmmmm...sure......uhhhh
[Canon character being awkward at a mary sue OC's beauty and we're already off to a good start.]
but which one?
MAZ: (flutters eyes) Oh....I dunno, how about Earth? (flutters eyes again)
[Yes, lets send you to a planet that we know nothing about and didn't even know exist until we tricked a really stupid Irken into going there thinking that he'd die.]
R.T.: Umm.....ya....ok.....
MAZ: Oh thank you, my (sexy voice) almighty and all knowledgeable leaders.
(she kisses each of them and both of them sigh in pleasure) bye bye.
[You whore!]
(After she leaves)
R.T. : Noooooooooooo!
P.T. What's wrong?!?!?!
R.T. We sent her to ZIM!!!
Both of them: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Well, what other Invader is on Earth besides Skoodge?]
(Back at Earth)
(D
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I'm back from Facebook people. Anyways, I need to take a break from fanfiction reviews. I'm gonna be spending this break reviewing the one thing worse then fanfiction. That is terrible children's literature.

While on break, I'll be continuing my review of Rah and the Muggles as well as continue Letter, the Series.

Till next time.

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Brenden Marshall
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I was born in the ghettos of D Town. Mommy was raped, daddy was busy. Now, I live in Claythe, my past wrapped around my god damn throat like a noose. I am a letter
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:iconjax1776:
Jax1776 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
:iconjennyxj9plz::iconkiritoplz::iconasunasmileplz::iconlisbethsmileplz::iconhatsunemikuplz::iconrarityjoyplz::iconhappytwilightplz::iconapplejackplz::iconrainbowdashsquealplz::iconfluttershyplz::iconpinkieisexcitedplz::iconapplebloomplz::iconsweetiebelleplz::iconscootalooplz::iconhappyderpyplz::iconsaysplz:HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :party::cake::party:
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:iconleebo4:
Leebo4 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2017
Happy birthday
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:iconjax1776:
Jax1776 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
:iconjennyxj9plz::iconhatsunemikuplz::iconrarityjoyplz::iconhappytwilightplz::iconapplejackplz::iconrainbowdashsquealplz::iconfluttershyplz::iconpinkieisexcitedplz::iconapplebloomplz::iconsweetiebelleplz::iconscootalooplz::iconhappyderpyplz::iconsaysplz:HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! PartyHave your cake and eat it tooParty
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Reyai-Bloodrose Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2016
Happy birthday! ^^
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Leebo4 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2016
Happy birthday
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ZhaneRX Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you for the watch you gave me back in 2013
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Channeleven Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Happy birthday 
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:iconjax1776:
Jax1776 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Happy Birthday! :party::cake::party:
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pastel-demon Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Happy Birthday! :cake:
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